Worthless CNN Articles

Rapper T.I., under house arrest, can go to Easter services
Thank God. I was worried.

Bitten while on toilet, woman kills rat
Think about that headline. Think about it again. The mental pictures are staggering.

Giant speed bumps irk scraping drivers
That always did piss me off, but I never called CNN about it

Seriously, is this front page CNN.com news? We need to invade something or impeach someone.