Foamy Hand Soap Is Horrible, Regardless Of What You Think

The results of my poll are in, and the winner is:

SEVEN.

What the fuck? I put that there as a joke, but I guess people voted for "seven" when they disagreed with me that foamy soap is terrible. Please allow me to tell you why you're all dead wrong.

Foamy soap is disgusting. When I want my hands clean, I want the familiar feeling of liquid handsoap on my fingers. I want the effort it takes to rub my hands together and create bubbles. I want it to feel like I've done something constructive when I wash my hands. Foamy handsoap comes in bottles and have the consistency of water. WATER! I don't know what that damn spout does to turn water into foam; for all I know (or you know... admit it), it could be injecting the water-liquid with baby seal blood to make it foam up. We just don't know. Plus, it feels like I'm pouring diarrhea on my hands. And when I want my hands clean, just about the last thing I want all over them is diarrhea. That's the opposite of clean. That's disgusting. Foamy handsoap is disgusting.

In closing, if you like foamy handsoap, you're a communist. The end.

Comment on this post and let me know what my next poll should be.