Anderson Rants: Ole Miss Crosswalks

Anyone who has driven on Ole Miss's campus around the time classes let out knows that Ole Miss has a serious pedestrian problem. The problem really stems from the legislature, who told Mississippians that pedestrians have the right-of-way at crosswalks without lights, ensuring that a flood of students is sure to walk carelessly into the street at every opportunity available.

But MY problem is the kids who decide they are too good for the crosswalks and walk around in the street like its a fucking public park. Those kids are the ones that get my goat. I want to grab them around the neck and say "you get to cross at the damn crosswalk whenever you please! Is that not enough?" And if I could verbalize exclamation points, there would be about 11 after those statements. Maybe 12.

My proposal? Honking at everyone who crosses at an undesignated place. I'll honk even if they are not impeding my progress. They need to know that it is not appreciated that they chose that spot to cross, regardless of the danger or inconvenience posed. My honking will alert them that they have committed an "Anderson Foul", and perhaps they will remedy their behavior next time. If I have to endure a few middle fingers in the process, that is just a risk I will have to take.

So next time you're crossing the street between crosswalks and a crazy person in a gray Camry starts honking like an idiot at you, you'll know its me. And you'll know that next time, I just might swerve to hit you.