Frankenstein Out For Rest Of Season

ESPN.com reported today that square-jawed studmuffin Yao Ming will be ridin' the pine for the rest of the season due to a foot fracture. This seriously hurts Houston's chances in the West, as like 25 teams are within 2 games of each other. Note: I could go to ESPN.com and find the real numbers but I'm really lazy.

Headline from tomorrow's morning Houston Chronicle: "Citizens shot dead as everyone who put money on Rockets' winning the NBA championship went crazy and opens fire."

Update made later tomorrow on the Chronicle website: "We apologize for our reporting earlier that everyone who put money on the Rockets opened fire. It was actually just Tracy McGrady. We apologize again."

When reached for comment, Ming said, "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!" and ripped the reporter's face off.

PS: Seriously, he's just missing the bolts in the neck. Thats it.