BIG CHANGE!!! TAKE NOTE!!!! WE'RE MOVING!!!

PEOPLEKNOWME.COM HAS MOVED!

Check out http://andersonellis.wordpress.com or http://www.peopleknowme.com to get to the new site.

Soon, this site, andersonellis.blogspot.com, will no longer be updated. Change your bookmarks accordingly.

Wake Forest Begins Road To Championship

SKINNER EFFICIENTLY DISSECTS BAYLOR AS #23 WAKE ROLLS
Article

Up next: Ole Miss (9/6)

We'll Either Have A Black President or a Female Vice-President

Who?

All the major outlets are reporting that Sarah Palin, R-Alaska, will be John McCain's running mate.
The official word will come within an hour or so.

WHO IS SARAH PALIN?

44 years old
5 children, oldest in Army, youngest with Downs Syndrome
Alaska governor since 2006
Pro-life, pro-drilling
Anti-gay marriage
Revamped Alaska's budget
Positives: Conservative
Agrees with the Right on many issues that McCain has been criticized for disagreeing with
Woman good at speaking
Negatives: Even more lacking of experience than Obama
Very conservative

9:40 cst: McCain campaign confirms Palin as VP pick

McCain/Palin vs. Obama/Biden

Is There A Speech Or Something On Tonight?

BARACK O-WHO-MA?

ITS TIME FOR WAKE FOREST FOOTBALL!!
AND FOOTBALL IN GENERAL, FOR THAT MATTER!!

Tonight, 8pm eastern/ 7pm central, Fox Sports Net, Wake Forest Demon Deacons@ Baylor Bears

Take a break from watching Spurrier on ESPN to enjoy the best of Tobacco Road football.

De Niro and Pa Cino Are Awesome

In case you haven't see it yet, here's the trailer for "Righteous Kill", the new Robert-Al joint:



Soak in the awesomeness, and hold onto your pants: coming tomorrow, we have a showdown between De Niro and Pacino's "Worst Movie Decision". They've both made some crappy movies. Get ready.

Wait, wait. Retired Players STAY Retired?

Michael Strahan and his gap told the NY Football Giants that he has chosen to stay retired rather than play one more year. This comes on the heels of news that Osi Umenyiora (however you spell it) is out for the year.

Where is Brett Favre? That guy doesn't even need a reason to come out of retirement. Hell, he's likely to retire from the Jets just so he can un-retire and join the Giants to play on the D-line, but retire again before the season starts.

It's HIGH SCHOOL football season, too!

The Rivals rankings for top 100 high school football programs came out today, and there were a few notables to... well... note. Damn that limited vocabulary of mine.

(1) Trinity - Euless, TX: Of course its a Texas team from the middle of fucking nowhere at the top of the list. There's shit else to do in bumfuck Texas than play high school football. They just picture that the tackling dummy is someone wearing a polo shirt and tackle it extra hard out of spite. "You think you're better than me, city boooooooy?"

(22) South Panola - Batesville, MS: I dig SP because they sell t-shirts outside their stadium that say "University of South Panola". I dig it because they make no bones about being a football factory and not giving two shits about educating anyone. Sounds like Florida State.

(44) Brentwood Academy - Brentwood, TN: We played against BA in high school, and I can attest that they are the toughest group of incredibly rich white kids you'll ever meet. I'm serious. You get dirt on his Lacoste sneakers or scratch his diamond-crusted Rolex, and Manfred Thurston Hallowell IV will fuck you up!

(66) Olive Branch - Olive Branch, MS: Don't know anything about them, but they've come up second to "the U" for a while now. North Mississippi ain't big enough for the two teams! Seriously, north Mississippi has two high school football teams in the top 100? No wonder incoming Ole Miss players can't read.

(78) Montgomery Bell Academy - Nashville, TN: Again, played against MBA back in the day. No new jokes about white kids. Just refer back to my BA comments, and add in something about how gay their logo is. Way to just slap together your letters without regard for aesthetics!

I'm Back In The Game!

Law school is 2 days old, and already boring enough to warrant bringing the blog back. Here's what I've learned so far in my 3L year:

- The class where the professor didn't show up for the first meeting is the best class I've ever had, any level of school.

- A "secured transaction" is a contract where interest in personal property or a duty is given, and I hate that I even know that much. I just put myself to sleep.

- 8:30 am classes are no easier as a 24 year old than they were as an 18 year old. There is a reason that I've avoided morning classes like the plague for nearly 7 years.

Anywho, I'm back now, so keep checking the site. I should be back for a while; law school isn't looking like its gonna get too much more interesting.

Coming Soon to PEOPLE KNOW ME...

School starts August 25th, so expect irreverency and profanity to return to PKM.com around that time.

Summer Break

I'm working at the District Attorney's office, and have been in court for the last two weeks. I haven't had time to get into the blog this summer, as I spend about 20 minutes at a clip on my computer.

Hang with me, I'll be back when I have classes that I don't give a shit about.

Before I Forget...

THE REALIST Takes On Politics

All PKM readers, welcome THE REALIST, a guest blogger who will periodically pop up and write about whatever the hell he feels like. This time, its politics. Next time, it could be anything, even how big a slut your mother is. Just kidding, I'm sure he won't write about that. But she's a big whore, so you should do something about that.
---------------
The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

James Carville, architect of Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign, is famous for having coined the phrase, “it’s the economy, stupid,” but that economic message was only one leg of the Clinton ’92 campaign theme. “Don’t forget about health care” and “change versus more of the same,” rounded out the Clinton campaign message. For a political junkie such as myself, the 2008 presidential campaign has been full of non-stop drama and political excitement (e.g., Hillary Clinton’s “Shame on you, Barack Obama! Meet me in Ohio!” and John McCain’s “Gov. Romney, you are the candidate of change!” are two of my favorite primary quotes), but as Americans come to realize that either Sen. Barack Obama or Sen. John McCain will become the 44^th President of the United States, we must really imagine them as president, seriously evaluating these men not on their star power or their rhetoric but their vision for America’s future: a true departure with the past or political leftovers?

“Change” has become such a cliché in this campaign. Obama’s campaign tagline is “Change You Can Believe In,” and once Sen. Clinton realized her “Ready on Day One” message wasn’t resonating with primary voters, she quickly echoed Obama’s change rhetoric. On the Republican side, Sen. McCain has boarded the change bandwagon as well. However, all this talk of change has gotten me thinking, “How much will really change?”

Our history teachers always tried to sell us on the importance of learning history by saying that history repeats itself. As I’ve thought about this presidential campaign, I’m struck by how much actually hasn’t changed. While Obama excites the country with his history-making candidacy (which I don’t deny), the substance of his campaign really isn’t that novel. Just look to the messaging of Michael Dukakis, or Bill Clinton for that matter. In fact, even if he wins the presidency, his style and policy positions may portend a failed presidency such as Jimmy Carter’s. Carter came out of nowhere to beat more well known establishment candidates in the 1976 Democratic primary to become the nominee on a message of cleaning up Washington, breaking partisan gridlock, and giving the American people confidence in their government post-Watergate. However, his trademark grin and nice guy image didn’t do much for American foreign policy (Remember the Iranian hostage crisis? You probably weren’t born yet.) or domestic affairs (energy crisis?). As for McCain, he is in danger of becoming a Bob Dole Redux—a respected veteran and senior U.S. Senator with an anemic stage presence and message in the face of a much more polished opponent. A McCain presidency might actually look like Bush—no, not a George W. Bush third term, as the Obama campaign relentlessly and ridiculously asserts, but George H.W. Bush. Would a President McCain, deft at addressing global crises, frankly care enough about health care reform and the economy to get re-elected?

I don’t know about you, but I’m sensing a bit of déj à vu.

I'm A Horrible Blog Friend

As the summer rolls along and everyone and their mothers are stuck behind desks, I know that I am the lone source of entertainment in this bleak world. And I have been neglecting this duty lately. I apologize. I was in grand jury proceedings for a week, then I went to a wedding, now I'm headed back to North Carolina for a week. Bloggers gotta have lives, too! I'll do my best to finish up the basketball 3-on-3 tournament this week, and I'll try to get my shit together to keep this site going this summer. Thanks for continuing to read even when there isn't any new material!

3-on-3 Tournament GAME 4

ALLEN PLAYS BIG, COMES UP SHORT IN UNC WIN
Borrowing a page from his 1998 film "He Got Game", UConn's Ray Allen brought late-game heroics to his team's game against UNC with 8 points, 2 rebounds, and 2 assists, still falling short in a hard-fought 13-15 loss Tuesday. UNC's Rasheed Wallace had 8 points and 7 rebounds in the win. Rudy Gay dazzled the crowd with two dunks, but blamed poor team selection for the loss. "If we'd had the best team out there, we would'a had this. If [Richard Hamilton] or [Emeka Okafor] had been on this team, it would've been a different story. Whoever made these teams messed that [expletive] up. Wallace couldn't be stopped in the paint." Teammates Ray Allen and Ben Gorden could not be reached for comment after the game. UNC plays Wake Forest on Thursday in a familiar ACC match-up.

UCONN	POINTS	REBOUNDS	ASSISTS	BLOCKS
Allen	7	2	2	0
Gordon	3	4	2	2
Gay	3	2	3	0
UNC
Carter	3	1	5	0
Wallace	8	7	0	1
Jamison	4	3	4	0

SO FOR TODAY, WHO WOULD WIN: KANSAS JAYHAWKS versus DUKE BLUE DEVILS?

3-on-3 Tournament GAME 3

BUCKEYES FALL JUST SHORT, BLAME LOSS ON YOUTH
Greg Oden shook off the cobwebs of his lost rookie year to rack up 7 points and 8 rebounds, but the Arizona Wilcats held on for a hard-fought 15-12 victory Monday. Gilbert Arenas had 7 assists and 5 points in the winning effort. It was clear from the outset that OSU point guard Mike Conley Jr. was overmatched playing against Arenas. "He didn't look like his knee was bothering him at all. His first step was just as quick as it ever was," said teammate Richard Jefferson, who contributed 6 points in the win. Michael Redd, the oldest player on Ohio State, commented that lack of playing experience and youth played an important role in the loss. "[Conley] just couldn't keep up. I mean, the kid's good, but [Arenas] has just been doin' it longer. Can't blame him for that." The game was the closest in the tournament thus far, causing some to question the seeding criteria used. Arizona will face the winner of Wednesday's matchup between Kansas and Duke.

OHIO STATE	POINTS	REBOUNDS	ASSISTS	BLOCKS
Oden	7	8	0	4
Conley Jr.	1	2	5	0
Redd	4	3	2	0
ARIZONA
Arenas	5	1	7	0
Jefferson	6	4	3	1
Iguodala	4	5	3	1

SO FOR TODAY, WHO WOULD WIN: CONNECTICUT HUSKIES versus NORTH CAROLINA TARHEELS?

3-on-3 Tournament GAME 2

WAKE FOREST ADVANCES, SHOWS REASON FOR #1 OVERALL SEED
It was no surprise that Wake Forest advanced to the second round of Friday's 3-on-3 Tournament. What was a surprise was the fashion in which they advanced. Chris Paul owned the spotlight, showing why he is regarded as one of the top point guards in the game. The Deacs reached the required 15 points before their opponents hardly knew the game had started. The Deacs were spurred to a 15-4 victory on the back of Paul's 10 assists and Tim Duncan's 8 baskets. Georgetown's Allen Iverson had 3 of the team's 4 baskets, and said that the Bulldogs were simply overmatched. "We didn't play as good as we could, but Wake is the best team out here. Not much you can do with a complete team like that. We should'a practiced more. Practice." The Deacs face the winner of the Connecticut/North Carolina game to be played on Tuesday.

WAKE FOREST	POINTS	REBOUNDS	ASSISTS	BLOCKS
Howard	4	3	4	0
Duncan	8	7	1	2
Paul	3	2	10	0
GEORGETOWN
Mutombo	0	4	1	1
Mourning	1	2	2	0
Iverson	3	1	1	0

SO FOR TODAY, WHO WOULD WIN: ARIZONA WILDCATS versus OHIO STATE BUCKEYES?

Blog Note -- Music Player Moved

I moved the music player down to the bottom of the page. That way, you can listen to all the songs I have rather than just the first 5 or so. Please use that player; those songs are MONEY.

Photos of the Day - June 6, 2008

Courtesy of The Telegraph (one of those English papers, I think) comes pictures for 6/6/08

Dude, Coco Crisp has some mad fightin' skills.
He should talk to Kimbo Slice and get in on this MMA action.

Never mind. Crisp got his dumb face punched in by Jonny Gomes.
He apparently got his hair pulled, too.
I personally wouldn't touch Coco's hair if you paid me --
I still think they might actually be little worms.

Anyone else think its bright in here?
Just me? Ok, ok...

I bet this kid wore the same get-up when the Celtics were 24-58.
God, Boston fans are annoying.

Got any of that good shit left, hombre?

Hypothetical NBA College 3-on-3 Tournament

In the spirit of an NBA Finals where the two highest profile players went from high school to the NBA, I'm having a hypothetical 3-on-3 tournament of active NBA players grouped by undergrad university on my website.

YOU help me to determine which matchup would win each game. You can determine it any way you like: school preference, player preference, biases, whatever, just make sure you explain your reasoning.

Here are the teams, chosen by me, using only my discretion. I'm sure there will be those who disagree with my choices of schools and players, but these are the teams I made, so who would win?

Click to get a full-sized bracket

The schedule is as follows:

6/6: WFU v. GTown
6/9: Arizona v. tO$U
6/10: UConn v. UNC
6/11: Kansas v. Duke
6/12: W1 v. W2
6/13: W3 v. W4
6/16: Championship

So, for today, who would win:

WAKE FOREST UNIVERSITY versus GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY?
Leave your answer and reasoning in the comments.

Public Guerilla Art In Buenos Aires

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Barack Obama Clinches Democratic Nomination

Fuck.

John Smoltz To Have Season-Ending Surgery

Fuck.

"Sex And The City"

Yes, I surprised the girlfriend with tickets to see SATC last night. Yes, I sat through it. Yes, I'm still alive to talk about it.

It is what it is. Two hours and twenty-five minutes of women crying, wedding planning, talk of waxing and babies and shoes, girls bonding and getting pissed at each other. Is she... Will they...

Go see it if you're a fan of the show, a girl, or dating someone that will like it. The bonus points you'll get from going to see it are worth the 145 minute movie. At least, I'm banking on that.

ROTTEN TOMATOES GRADE: 54% critics, 70% viewers

ANDERSON ELLIS GRADE: C

Not So Fast, My Friend...

The AP reported today that Hillary Clinton was ready to concede that Obama had the delegates necessary to take the Democratic nomination. Apparently, they were wrong, as Clinton's camp says that she is "not prepared" to admit anything.

After the final primaries conclude today, Obama will inevitably be short of the required delegate number, but could be pushed farther into clinching territory by the superdelegates that will make up their damn minds after the results come in tonight. Either way, Clinton will have the argument that Obama does not have control of the nomination until the convention, as she claims to have "won" the popular vote.

Although I faintly admire Hil-dog's determination to stay in the race, I think that her argument is a slimy, underhanded, and manipulative one. Nowhere does it say that popular vote matters at all in American elections (Al Gore will back me up on that). Its like entering a game and then trying to change the rules when you lose. She knew that the nomination was based on delegates when she started, and now that she can't win with them, she claims that the popular vote should be the determining factor. If I was Obama, I'd claim that majority of geriatric minorities should be the deciding factor, because that is just as arbitrary as Clinton's claim.

Bottom line: you knew what you needed to do when you started, you didn't do it, you lost, move on. But Clinton can't move on, because this is her only shot. If she's not electable in 2008, she's certainly not electable in 2012 (if a 'Pub gets the White House) or 2016 (if Obama wins). It could go Clinton-Clinton-Obama-Obama as President, but not the other way around. So while I respect her bulldoggedness (and understand it from a logical point of view), its a losing argument and is accomplishing nothing but tarnishing her already rusty reputation.

However, don't interpret this as pro-Obama sentiment. I have alot of problems with that sonofabitch too. But thats for another day.

Sidenote: When Huckabee stayed in after losing, people called him stupid. When Hillary stays in after losing, people call her noble. Interesting.

New Poll

New poll is up. Voting closes at the end of June.

If you have questions or comments, leave them on this post. If you have an answer not listed, leave it on this post. If you have an idea for next month's poll, leave it on this post.

Poll Results

50% of you answered correctly when you chose Bobby Flay as your chef of choice from The Food Network. Not only will you get a perfectly grilled steak, but you'll also get grilled salad, grilled veggies, and grilled dessert (whatever that is). That guy can GRILL!

Whoever answered Paula Dean should just go to any good home-cooking restaurant south of Virginia. Its pretty much the same food, without that annoying bat pestering you.

And having Rachel Ray cook you dinner is like choosing some campfire cooking expert. Sure, its probably good, but if you can choose from anyone, why would you choose the one who cuts corners?

UP NEXT: I don't know yet. I'll think of one soon. Write suggestions in the comments. Please.

Since When Is MTV Shy About Weed?

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

At the MTV Movie Awards last night, James Franco and Seth Rogan presented the award for Best Lighting Design To Accentuate Someone's Boobs (or something as equally stupid, I guarantee it) when they apparently smoked a joint on stage.

I was watching the show when this happened, and MTV pulled their cameras really far away from the shot, leaving viewers with a strange floating-over-the-stage sensation . Much like the one felt by Rogan and Franco shortly thereafter.

By the way, is there anyone out there as one-dimensional as Seth Rogan? I swear, that guy can only play one character: himself. I liked Knocked Up as much as the next guy, but I don't think Rogan was doing anything special in that movie besides playing the same character he always does. We just hadn't seen him headline a film before. Mark my words: Pineapple Express will be Knocked Up Rogan all over again. You just wait.

Go Ahead And Order The "World Champs" T-Shirts

The Lakers won the Western Conference last night, ending the Spurs' chances at a repeat championship. The Lakers will face either Boston or Detroit in the Finals, depending on which team decides they want a grade-A ass-whooping.

In other news, Tim Duncan plans to spend the off-season looking morose and Manu Ginobili flopped on the walk to the team bus, saying "I just wanted to get them in before I had to pay for them."Let's be serious for a second. Boston can't win at home. Detroit's players are so old they're falling apart ("Our pets' heads are falling off!!). I honestly don't care who plays the Lakers, because once the conference finals were set, the choices were "team who has won a bazillion championships" vs. "team who has won a bazillion championships" vs. "most boring team that has won a bazillion championships" vs. "I hate the motherfucking Celtics". So I pretty much lose regardless of the matchup.

My Least Favorite College Professor

I had Intro Communications with JL (name removed) as a Junior; not majoring in the subject, just trying to get a few extra credit hours. I wrote a paper on the effects of "gunners" (people who over-volunteer in class) on the rest of the class, and it was damn good. I get home for the summer and get my grade back from him: "C". I emailed him and asked how that happened. He sent me my grade breakdown: 92% on the paper minus 26% for grammar errors = 66% D on the paper.

I FLIPPED OUT and asked him what my errors were. He told me that he counted off 1/2% for failing to put two spaces after a period before beginning the next sentence, and I did it 52 times in my 13 page paper. Needless to say, I was upset, and he told me that if I drove to the school (3 hours) he would meet with me in person and discuss it. So I did. When I met with him, we talked civilly and he told me that if I submitted to him that night a proposal on how to remedy the situation, he would consider it. So I drove home.

That night, I wrote him that I thought it was unfair to count an error incorrect when it wasn't concretely established to actually BE an error in the first place. Secondly, to count off every time was over kill, and to count off a half-grade or so would be much more appropriate. He responded by saying that he was disappointed that I was "haggling for a grade", that he had hoped for a critique of his grading style as a whole, and that my proposal was denied.

I wrote him a letter telling him of my plan to attend law school one day, and closed with the line, "I hope that one day, there comes a situation where there is something that you need my help with, and I look forward to denying you as happily as you have me." Not the most mature response, but it made me feel better.

So yeah, fuck that guy.

Things Rick Astley Would NEVER Do To You

Click for full image

Talk About Your Crappy Situations...

The lone toilet in the International Space Station is not working properly, NASA officials say. The liquid waste part of the toilet has been jerry-rigged so as to work off-and-on, much to the elation of astronauts who don't wish to be constantly covered in their own urine.

NASA says that the toilet is of Russian design, which is not surprising, considering I envision Russians to usually be randomly defecating all over the place like the uncivilized swine that they are. I bet they've never even seen a real toilet. They just designed some piece of shit and NASA saw it and was like "What is it? I have no idea, but its got crazy letters on it and looks interesting. Let's spend $6.5 billion on it. But only buy one, because I'm positive it'll never break. Foreigners are known for their quality craftsmanship. Now, I'm going home in my Ford, since my Jaguar's in the shop again."

Note: Probably should include the link: SPACE TOILET BROKEN.

"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"

Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, everyone's favorite Nazi-defeating, whip-cracking, snake-fearing, snarl-bearing hero, is back, thanks to George Lucas's inability to leave the past alone. After butchering his most famous trilogy, Lucas is back, with Spielburg in tow, to take a crack at the Indy series. Despite his best efforts, Indiana Jones IV remains entertaining, though not for a lack of effort.

Harrison Ford, nearing his 66th birthday, reprises the role he originated, and he does it quite well. Ford is still a convincing hero, seemingly able to athletically whip and jump like he did when he was younger; how much of this is real and how much isn't remains a mystery. In this tale, Indy is faced with helping a young greaser (Shia LeBouef) rescue his mother from kidnapping while simultaneously preventing the Soviets from obtaining a weapon derived from the ancient Mayans. Of course.

LeBouef is good in his role, as he seems to always be. I'm convinced that he will end up a huge movie star; if not now, then certainly after "Transformers 2" comes out (and "Eagle Eye" looks pretty good, too). He remains one of the funnier young actors out there, and this role, which could have been played very stiff and old, provides much of the comic relief in the film. Cate Blanchett plays the nasty red Commie bastard, which seems comically close to a Russian caricature, complete with bob haircut, leather costume, and think Ukrainian accent. She does fine, but she could have been exchanged for any number of actresses; her part seemed to demand little more than an over-the-top accent.

I had heard a rumor that this Indy movie would be made in the same fashion as the others, with emphasis on action rather than special effects, and that what effects were used would be implemented in a low-tech fashion reminiscent of the original three films. What I saw was something completely different, as several scenes employed extremely high levels of effects (not as high as "Speed Racer", more on par with "I Am Legend"). Unfortunately, these effects were not always well-done, and the climax insulted the integrity of the action in the original films.

I understand that the purpose of an Indiana Jones movie is summertime fun. To that end, Indy IV accomplished its goal. It made a ton of money ($140 million, last I saw, opening weekend) and everyone in the world and their brother went to see it. In the long run, it doesn't really matter whether it is a film worth remembering, because Indiana Jones is one of the most memorable characters in film history. Even so, I would be remiss to say that I thought it was a good movie. I thought the effects were clunky, the plot was so contrived to be almost unbelievable EVEN for an IJ movie, and the movie made the audience suspend belief in reality and the laws of physics so much as to make most viewers say, "come on!".

But it was fun, and exciting, and that's why I went to see it.

ROTTEN TOMATOES GRADE: 78% critics, 64% viewers

ANDERSON ELLIS GRADE: C+

Interpreting Rotten Tomatoes Ratings

In my experience using Rotten Tomatoes.com, I've found it to be a fairly useful tool in determining whether a movie is worth seeing or not. As opposed to newspaper reviews or random internet sites, RT.com balances critics and normal folk, and allows you to get a full picture of the review spectrum.

The RT.com "Tomatometer" measures reviews on the site. Anything above 60% is "FRESH" and anything below 60% is "ROTTEN".

The shorthand that I've developed is as follows:

HIGH CRITIC/LOW VIEWERS: The movie is a "film", and likely appeals mostly to critics and critic-types. Most likely not fun, usually heavy subject matter. This category produces the most Oscar contenders, though, so it might be a quality film.

LOW CRITIC/HIGH VIEWER: The movie is a fun one, and doesn't appeal to anyone who wants a heavy or "important" movie. These movies are the ones to rent when you don't want to think too much and just want to have a good time.

HIGH CRITIC/HIGH VIEWER: Perfect balance. Appeals to everyone. A must-see.

LOW CRITIC/LOW VIEWER: Pass.

Poll Closing

Only 4 days left to vote for your favorite Food Network chef! Poll closes at the end of May.

Also, proposals for next month's poll will be accepted in the comments to this post.

Ole Miss Baseball Makes NCAA Tournament, Prepares To Get Slaughtered By Miami

"Hey, did you hear we got screwed?"

After a Memorial Day weekend that saw the Diamond Rebels overachieve in the SEC tourney all the way to a championship-loss to LSU, the Rebels awoke Tuesday morning to the harsh reality of the NCAA tournament.

Ole Miss, seeded 3rd of 4 in their region, were placed in Miami's regional, the #1 team in the tournament.

The bracket looks like this:

(1) Miami (47-8) (4) Bethune-Cookman (36-20)
(3) Mississippi (37-24) (2) Missouri (38-19)

The winner of the region advances to the super-regional, most likely against Michigan or Arizona.

Its not an impossible road for the Rebels, as their last-seeded squad defeated the #1 team in the SEC tourney (UGA). But it certainly isn't the best matchup, and the Rebels better hope that Bethune-Cookman can pull out a USC-Stanford level upset.

The Harsh Truth

"Charlie Wilson's War"

Charlie Wilson's War is a film based upon the story of Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks), Congressional Representative from the 2nd District of Texas from 1973 to 1997. The film centers around the early 1980s, when Wilson was, while still a lesser-known politician outside of Texas, sat on several foreign policy and covert-operations subcommittees. Through wealthy Texan supporter Joanne (Julia Roberts), Wilson becomes educated in the condition of the Afghani people under the Soviet invasion. Wilson decides to use all of his clout and position within the government to single-handedly supply the Afghanis with the weaponry needed to fight the Russians. His plan is successful, leading to a billion-dollar campaign ending in Soviet withdrawal. Unfortunately, Afghanistan ended up under the control of the Taliban, leading to the United States' eventual invasion around 2001.

The film, though based on actual historical events, breaks down the political to a digestible level. Aaron Sorkin, well-known for "The West Wing" and The American President, again succeeds in making what could be stifling political jabber into clever banter in his screenplay adaptation. Though close attention may be required to really understand all of the political explanation, allowing this information to glide over you without worrying about complete understanding does not detract from enjoyment of the film.

Hanks again is outstanding as Wilson. It was nice to see Hanks play a bit of a dirtier character. Wilson is the epitome of a skirt-chasing, cocaine-using, whiskey-guzzling salesman, but Hanks allows his flaws and strengths to compose a complete character. In the end, his virtues shine through, and Wilson becomes an incredibly likable character.

Roberts, as the Texan supporter, is underused in the film. Aside from a few scenes, Roberts is relegated to sideline supporter, much like her role in the Oceans franchise. As beautiful as ever, I would've liked to either have seen her more in the film or cast a lesser known actress to reduce the distraction from Hanks's portrayal.

Philip Seymore Hoffman has become one of my favorite actors, and he does not disappoint here. Hoffman plays Gust Avrakotos, a CIA operative who's bad attitude has left him punished as the point man for Afghanistan. The teamplay of Hanks and Hoffman is great, and Wilson's likability is matched point-for-point by Hoffman's surliness.

The film is incredibly enjoyable. While not a "film" (read: Oscar worthy, necessarily), it is a great way to spend a few hours watching the best acting America has to offer. I recommend it highly for a low-stress, low-emotion movie.

ROTTEN TOMATOES GRADE: 83% critics, 88% viewers

ANDERSON ELLIS GRADE: A-

Why MLB Doesn't Need Instant Replay

Before everyone gets riled up and calls me prehistoric (I prefer "purist", but whatever), I think MLB needs replay for home-run and foul calls. The A-Rod homer incident of a few nights ago is inexcusable when replay is available. A mistake like where the ball hit in relation to the top of the wall or the foul pole should be quickly reviewed and the right decision made.

However...

Opening the Pandora's Box of replay to MLB could do more damage than it would prevent. Think about how often controversial homer and foul calls are made: infrequently. Now how many times are those calls made incorrectly? Not often. I agree that its unfortunate when they're made, but the volume of incorrect calls is negligible. Though I don't watch a huge number of games, I can't remember a call like this that decided a game.

If replay is allowed for a few instances, it will soon be requested for others. Take, for example, an aggressive slide into home on a walk-off single. These calls are exciting as much for the action as they are for the umpire's call. Baseball, if still "America's past-time", is founded as much on Americana as it is on the assumption that well-trained umpires make the right decision most of the time. To bog the game down with second-guessing of every close call would kill baseball. Imagine a coach, every time its a close call at first or a near-miss catch in center, could request replay analysis. Games would go from 3 hours to 5 in a heartbeat. You thought pitchers tossing the rosin bag or batter waggling and tightening gloves extended game times? This would be much worse.

The fact of the matter is that baseball cannot afford to tinker with their formula. If replay for limited use could assuredly be only used for those purposes and the slippery slope of "progress" be made slipless, replay could serve a quasi-important function in the game. But amid a steroid scandal that has ripped most of the sentimentality from the game, baseball must preserve their last bastion of faith in human judgment, and allow umpires the discretion to make technology-free calls, believing that they will be correct more often than they're wrong.

Turner Field's Bloodlust Is Quenched... For Now...

In a "shouldn't be funny but picturing it is" story, a fan fell to his death at Turner Field Wednesday after sliding down a railing on the club level and falling down to the field level.

Here's a diagram of the incident, courtesy of PKM.com's amazing graphics department:

Click on the picture to get a bigger version

This really isn't funny, unless you picture the guy's buddies before and right after the incident.

"Hey man, one of us should slide down this fucking railing! That would be awesome!"
"Yeah, but I'm too drunk. Hayes, you've only had 15 beers, you do it!"
"Dude, sure I will. I'm just a 25 year old man getting ready to slide down a railing some 150 feet above the ground! What could go wrong? Wheeeeeeee... oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...."
"Holy crap, man, I think Justin kept going when the railing ended."
(All in unison) "Bummer."

New Music Added

I don't know if anyone listens to the music player I installed to the right-hand column, but it really is becoming a collection of some of my favorite songs.

I put two more songs on there today.

"Punkrocker" by Teddy Bears
Teddybears (formerly Teddybears STHLM) is a Swedish band formed in 1991, known for mixing pop, rock, hip-hop, electronica, reggae, punk and many other genres. The song is a cover of the song "Punkrockarn" by the Swedish band Träd, Gräs & Stenar, and features Iggy Pop.

"Wake The Sun" by The Matches
The Matches are a band of four members which was formed in 1997 in Oakland, California and is currently signed with Epitaph Records. This 2008 single is off of the album "A Band In Hope".

All information is from Wikipedia.com, the most reliable source on the 'Net, period.

Apologies

In what is becoming a disturbing trend, I apologize for not posting recently. I just started summer work at the Lafayette County, MS District Attorney's office, so I'm getting into the routine here before I can really figure out if I can post as much as I would like. I'll get to it, though, because I know there are many of you whose day is just not complete without reading my genius musings.

Complaints? I'm right here, bitches. Bring it on.

18 Things A Grown Man Should Never Have

On MSN.com today, they had a list of 18 things a grown man should never have. Here's my take:

1. A black eye. True that. Anyone older than 20 knows that actual fighting is ridiculous. Talking shit and posturing, however, is always animalistically acceptable.

2. A witty e-mail signature. This annoys me so much, especially when its a "Hotmail" or "MSN" account. Odds are I don't really care to read what you've written to me, so I'm certainly not going to give a shit what extra text is under your name. You could quote "Rocky" there or "A Walk to Remember"; odds are, its still kinda gay.

3. An empty refrigerator. Yes. Now that I live on my own, I know the benefits to stocking up, so that a dinner can be made on the fly.

4. PlayStation thumb. Disagree. There is nothing wrong with video-game callouses, especially if you have something to show for it, like beating the game or winning the Super Bowl. And this is one point I will never back off.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. Creepily convenient, and a little too reminiscent of that guy in your college fraternity who bought those sandals with openers in the sole. You don't wanna be that guy.

6. A lucky shirt. Disagree again. Every man owns something he feels most comfortable in. Whether its lucky or just your favorite, everyone's entitled to have something that puts them at ease. Don't judge me, MSN.com.

7. An unstamped passport. I've been to a good number of European countries and never got my passport stamped. Whoever wrote this list must be 100 years old, remembering the good ol' days when the conductors on the coal-powered trains stamped your passport at every border. Not so anymore.

8. Olympic dreams. To go or be in? Being in: not ok. Grow up. To go: definitely ok.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. I don't have business cards yet, and I only use a charge card, so I fail this one, although I probably shouldn't. I wish I carried cash, but I spend it too fast.

10. A name for his penis. Sick. Agreed.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. WOAH WOAH WOAH. Hold on a damn second. Good beer comes cheap, too, you arrogant bastard. Not all of us like to chew our brewskies. Get off your high horse and drink normal beer with us peasants.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. I agree, but I'd change it to "Austin Powers", "Wedding Crashers", and any 1990's Adam Sandler movie. "Superbad" is still new enough to be funny, and "The Big Lebowski" is adult humor, so you can get away with it.

13. A futon. I fail this, too. Its a couch AND a bed. Very utilitarian. Sue me.

14. Code words for ugly women. In college, we had codes for everything. Now, not so much.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Disagree. Under my roommate moved out a few days ago, I had one in my dining room. Broke up the seriousness of the room, in a "I just got a big-boy bed" kinda way.

16. A secret handshake. What kind of toolbags still have these that aren't on "The Fresh Prince"?

17. Drinking glasses with logos. I own pint glasses with beer logos on them. Its a little different than restaurant kitsch, so I'm gonna pretend like I never read this one.

18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…" Yes. Please. Its no longer cool to antagonize police officers. Especially after I've taken Criminal Procedure class and found out how much cops really can legally fuck your world up.

Fall 2008 TV Lineup

Here's the most recent news regarding what shows are in, what shows are out, and what new stuff is coming this fall.

* denotes a show that I watch
# denotes show I have stopped watching
+ denotes show I wouldn't watch if you paid me

ABC
Boston Legal
Brothers & Sisters
Desperate Housewives
Dirty Sexy Money
Eli Stone
Grey's Anatomy +
Lost *
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies #
Scrubs (moved from NBC) *
Ugly Betty

CBS
Cold Case +
Criminal Minds +
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI: Miami
CSI: New York
Ghost Whisperer +
NCIS
Numb3rs
The Unit
Without a Trace

FOX
Prison Break
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

NBC
Chuck +
ER
Friday Night Lights
Heroes #
Law & Order
Law & Order: SVU #
Life
Lipstick Jungle +
Medium +

CW
Gossip Girl +
One Tree Hill +
Reaper +
Smallville +
Supernatural +

AMC
Breaking Bad

SHOWTIME
Brotherhood
The "L" Word

USA
Monk

The following shows have mercifully been canceled, saving countless braincells from inevitable destruction:

ABC
Big Shots
Men in Trees
Notes From the Underbelly
October Road
Women's Murder Club

CBS
Jericho
Viva Laughlin

FOX
K-Ville
New Amsterdam

NBC
Bionic Woman
Journeyman
Las Vegas

CW
Life is Wild

USA
The 4400
The Dead Zone

Here are the new shows coming for the fall, with 90% certain to be canceled in short order.
* denotes a show that I plan on trying out
# denotes a show that I will never give a chance

NBC
- FALL
Kath & Kim
Knight Rider #
SNL: Thursday Night Live *
My Own Worst Enemy
Crusoe
- WINTER
The Philanthropist
The Office Spinoff *
Merlin
Kings

CBS
Project Gary
Worst Week
The Ex List
Eleventh Hour
The Mentalist

ABC
Life on Mars
Opportunity Knocks
The Goode Family
Untitled Ashton Kucher Tyra Banks Project #

FOX
Dollhouse
Fringe
The Cleveland Show (Family Guy Spin-off) *
Class Dismissed (animated show from Arrested Development guys) *
Do Not Disturb

CW
90210 #
Surviving the Filthy Rich #

Movie Trailers You Should Watch

I cruise the 'Net more than my fair share, and today was no different. I came across some movie trailers that y'all should check out.


TRAITOR
Starring Don Cheadle, Guy Pierce, Jeff Daniels, and the dude from "Three Kings" who tortures Marky Mark. Looks pretty damn good, about a CIA Op who ends up working for a terrorist group. Also interesting, the "idea" for the movie is credited to Steve Martin on IMDB.com.


The Promotion
Starring Seann William Scott and John C. Reilly. Looks funny. Plus, Jenna Fischer is attractive to look at.


Igor
Starring the voices of John Cusak and Steve Buscemi. You knew I couldn't make it all the way through without an animated movie. Other animated movies look dumb, but this one looks pretty good.


The Rocker
Starring Rainn Wilson and Christina Applegate. Notable mention: Jason Sudeikis. This could be dumb as hell (see HOT ROD) or could be kinda funny. Dwight hasn't carried a movie yet, so I guess we'll see.

Check 'em out and let me know what you think.